lunes, 25 de junio de 2007

LAS AVISPAS PICAN… Y EN QUE SITIO!


Estaba de campamento con los jesuitas y el padre Ignacio en un lugar que el nombre ya ni me acuerdo, pero era lejísimo. El campamento duraba una semana. Después de ubicarnos en el sitio, poner las tiendas de campaña, estudiar el panorama y demás menesteres de esa chercha, había que buscar la leña para el fogón. Un amigo y yo fuimos en busca del combustible para hacer la cena. Cada uno con machete en mano íbamos recorriendo los lugares más recónditos, como si fuéramos Indiana Jones en busca del Cáliz perdido, buscando madera seca y otros palos que nos puedan servir para nuestro propósito.

Ya de regreso me puse a jugar con el machete imaginándome que era un samurái y que los árboles eran mis enemigos. Cuando le di un machetazo a una mata de guayaba había un nido de avispas de las cuales se me pegaron tres en la boca, mas específicamente, en la bemba de arriba. “Err diablo”, fue la expresión adolorida que hice después de darme, yo mismo, dos o tres pescozones para quitarme a las azarosas avispas.

Los que me conocen se han dado cuenta que mi boquita no se parece a la de Will Smith mas bien tiene una semejanza con la de King Kong. Y después de las picadas de las avispas me parecía al pato Donald. Dos lagrimones recorrían mis lindas mejillas al darme cuenta de lo que me esperaba.

Al llegar al campamento todos fueron a ver la tragedia, que en pocos momentos fue la sensación de todo el campamento. Todo el que me veía con mi bemba para tenía la siguiente reacción: primero miraban atentamente mi cara, luego se fijaban en mis labios y después se explotaban de la risa. Pasé el campamento entero sin hablar con nadie. Ya se imagina, yo feo de nacimiento, con una cara de aburrió y con la bemba como el diablo.

No los culpo, hasta yo mismo me podría reír de mi si me miraba en un espejo. Ese fue el campamento más largo que he pasado no pude relacionarme con nadie por mi condición “bembil”. Los apodos iban y venían desde bemba de trompeta, boca he jarro, bembe de guante, boca e tanque, de bacinilla, boca e cachucha hasta bembe troche (no se que diablos es un troche pero debe ser feo).

En las noches la cosa era dura, porque nadie podía dormir sin antes imaginarse mi cara y explotar de la risa en plena obscuridad. Yo estaba prejuiciado con todo el mundo. A todo el que veía riéndose pensaba que era de mi boca. Hasta el padre Ignacio, nuestro guía en el campamento, me confesaba de una forma peculiar. Primero siempre me dejaba de último, y cuando lo hacía no me miraba a la cara, sino que miraba para otro lado, me parecía como si estuviera hablando solo, de vez en cuando se limpiaba las lagrimas de los ojos yo creía que era por solidaridad a mi caso pero luego me di cuenta que era por la risotá que se estaba dando y no podía aguantarse mas.

Gracias a Dios y el campamento se terminó, todos se despidieron (yo no me despedí de ninguno). Mi hinchazón bajó aunque me quedé con la ligera sensación de que mi boca se quedó así de grande. Ahora cada vez que veo un panal de avispas o de abejas cerca de mí, lo primero que hago es cuidarme el lugar de más vergüenza para mí, la boca.

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